And this one is for you.

Countless times I have given a thought to visit these pages again and share things I would never say out aloud. But for past few months, I don't know why, something was keeping me from really stepping out, squeezing time from my busy days of playing games on computer, reading books, watching silly videos, listening 80's songs, sitting in office ( and doing nothing but all these things anyways ) (last part was a joke though, I am serious about my work) ( and don't ask me why I am writing this blog in my office )...where was I? Oh yes, keeping me from logging in to this blog and do one of the really very few things that makes me happy...to write to you guys.

Always, there was this thought, 'what for?' I mean, it would surely give me a moment of happiness but then I could just say things I am saying here to myself, inside my own head. That is what introverts are like, right? They don't talk less...they just talk to themselves more than anybody else.

And to be honest, there were two reasons that made me step everything aside and come here. First was a little on the side of selfishness. This blog gives me a way to look back at myself, from time to time, and reflect in what incoherent ways the ever flowing sands of time has affected me. To read your own thoughts, dating up to 4 years old ( not that much old though ) gives you an insight about yourself and things that have changed about you, better than anyone else in the world can. Second was, this small group of web surfers who aimlessly wander the internet and somehow, somewhere between watching music videos and reading academic posts they found themselves reading through something which made them click on 'follow' and enter their names. It was and always have been you, my readers who find the end result of the strangest and the weirdest electro-chemical reactions of neurons within my head, mildly amusing.

I will take this a little forward to tell you none of us have found the fountain of youth. Which basically means, someday you are going to say these words, ' I am too old for this shit'. And my sole purpose of coming back here remains to tell you that it is not a sudden transformation. It is just a sudden realization.

Every time you put that CD of a game back into the display racks in a store, calculating...deciding on something, you get older. Every time you choose hard bound, thick, large volumes of books over colorful comic book of your favorite superhero, you get older. Every night that you come back home, tired to your limits and the only reason you find to get rest is because you have to go out again tomorrow morning, you get older. Every time when you are confused between two dresses in a try room and you settle for the one with less sparkle in it, or for the one with lesser digits on a tag, you get older. Everyday when you think about the ones you love, you care for, before thinking about yourself, you get older.

And the beauty of growing old is...there is no beauty in it. No seriously, I prefer growing older. You get wiser, which means you can just straight away rule out the ideas and suggestions of people younger (in many cases brighter) than you. You get the best argument in your favor. "Hey! I am older than you, I have seen shit that you have not". You get "responsibilities"...whatever that word means anyway. Let me tell you, this word alone is the reason behind more deaths due to heart attacks around the world than anything else. So why do I prefer being my older self? Because, watching the world or not, I will make mistakes and living with the mistakes I did will give me the best lesson to never do them again. And in time, give me the small step to ascend higher, closer to the best self I can be.

You might rise so high in your life that you no longer see the people on the ground (Absolutely no pun intended). Your vision might expand to watch hundreds, thousands, even millions of people together that you might oversee the significance of One. And that just might be your undoing. There is nothing wrong with rising higher than everybody else. It will be the fruit of your hard work and dedications which will take you there. But it is equally important, to remember that one small kid in the classroom, being punished for fighting with the other kids. And what was he fighting for? To defend his best friend from the 5 other kids without thinking the odds of his victory. To remember the child whose utmost happiness lies in as simple a thing as an ice cream. The kid who shares better part of his lunch box with the other kids, without thinking what is he getting in return. The kid who uses the conversation starter, 'can i use your eraser?'

It is important that you hold on to your roots because however higher you may go, if you fall, you will know where you will fall upon. Remember the streets on which you played, the names of your dolls and pets. There in lies more than 10 years of your life, and things, significant things which you have forgotten about yourself. Simple, yet unique, incredulous things which will help you figuring out the most complicated situations of your life.

I know, it is almost impossible to hold on to so many memories and we all are likely to forget. Therefore, it is important that you find something that will keep your memories saved for you. Picture albums only showcases the changes in your appearance. What is more useful are pictures of your mind, to capture the way you think, the way you decide, what makes you happy, what do you love. Find out which way is suitable for you. Jot it down on a paper or draw a picture, write a letter to yourself, make a video, post it on the web. Whichever way you decide, trust me, someday when you will be needing advice from the person you trust more than yourself, you will find him hidden in these letters, blogs, you will find yourself, someone who you can trust, with all the answers, who might even bring a smile to your face.