"One more week in college. Its almost over. You've made it so far. Its only a week!"
The state of mind at the end of a hot,even semester. State of a tired, troubled mind, wanting to go home and be away from the trifle of all. Bereft of taste of favorite dinner, fed up of daily chores and the classes. Aware of the need to attend that class and still fighting the urge to skip it. Logic yells,begs to see how pathetic, meaningless and lousy is to go to that classroom where you will eventually sleep. The dirty, unkempt room appeals more than that lecture theater.It has got every reason to be.
Minutes left, its almost time for the class! Decide now. Oh the dilemma!
Curse yourself and steeling yourself against the hot wind outside, splash water on the face. Take a look at yourself in the mirror, that bloodshot , sleep-deprived eyes. Pick up the only notebook made for the semester, look for a working pen. Then realizing you're not going to make notes anyways. So leave the cozy room and take difficult steps towards the Academic-Block.
"Its only a week" was repeated loudly in your head.
Five minutes past starting of lecture.
Stare at those toppers. All in with full concentration, penning down every word that blasted teacher has to spit.Wonder whether its the same intensity with which you play the computer-game? The teacher ask his unexpected-sudden-question which only a listener can answer. Then he snigger and points to you. 'Darn it,Why ME?!'
Look down, its more secure there. Then a whisper, which sounds familiar. You heard it in this class. Its the answer! Without wasting a second more, reply out loud and startle the teacher. Sit smugly. Easy. Look at the clock. Only 15minutes past start . "Is that clock even working?"! Confirm with your wrist watch, or cellphone. "I knew it!" That clock is running 2minutes late. Miser administration. So, correction, 17minutes done, 38 left. That's better.
Thirty minutes past starting of lecture.
Even some of the toppers has lost it by this time. Eye-lids are too heavy for you to lift now. Let them meet...for only a minute, surely few minutes won't do any harm. You are sitting in a good spot. He can't see you here, no chance.
Wake up with a jolt. Meet the teacher eyes. No attendance for you today. Superb.
Look at the clock. 45minutes past starting time.Should have stayed at room.
If not yours, atleast the writer's normal day is presented to you.
If you're with me from the start, the kind of posts I publish addresses every student of our college in general. This one can be different. This one is more of a explanation I was due. I believe that by reading this, one can get a brief glimpse of insides of my head, as it were back then and can therefore, try to understand the actions which were felt necessary and taken.
If not for the reasons of class and everything, we all have been here sometime. Be it personal ,professional or friend-circle issues. It goes to such extremes that it can hardly be survived. We all look for escapes in these times. In the intended case of end of semester, we look forward to home. And it puts us to the edge. Even the most little things can be annoying. "Another Twilight movie??!"
And these are the moments that you take decisions and say things that you'd normally hate to. Its easy to succumb to the domain of devil. Yeah, its always compelling, the frustration. We wish to scream, yell, blame,complain or anything that could help the steam ease out of our head. But the thing to realize is that its not the problem which has led us to this state, its the duration of it which we endured. Even the most easiest of the problems becomes impossible to solve if it is given too much though than necessary.
"Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity? Insanity is...doing the exact same fu****' thing over and over and over again and expecting shi* to change."
—Vaas, Far Cry 3
But anyways, i learned recently that running away or escaping is not the solution. It can provide you the exit, but the problem will still exist inside you. Closing your eyes doesn't make the world disappear. It's there. So is the problem and so are all your friends, family and beloved. Don't run away from them. Express, share, feel , talk and...smile :) .Open your eyes to the beauty of what you have earned in these years. Make the best of out it and make a promise to yourself. That you wont give up.
Like every time I'll leave a hidden message for you, only this time I've mentioned it. For such state, one does need lots of time to himself and anyone that denies us this much should be punished. Its very likely that we will emerge from this phase all by ourselves and move on. Have we not survived the great floods? Have we not lived through the great depression? The Recession? All sorts of wars, riots, diseases? How puny now our behavior situation feels now. Isn't?
Apologies for making such a long article for such a simple thought. Sometimes its the most easiest of things that needs the longest of explanation.There so much more to say. But its not that world is ending
this year. Right?
